The Alternian Exchange Program
by KoriTheEvilEditor
Summary: In light of the previous hundreds of years of fighting between the two species, the human and troll governments decided to implement the "Alternian Exchange Program" in which troll families would be moved from the troll-only country of Alternia to humans cities around the world for schooling and the same number of human families would be moved to Alternia. (Full summary inside)
1. Chapter 1

**Kori: Okay this is my first multi-chapter Homestuck story! The main couple is JohnKat (or communism whichever name you prefer)**

**Full summary:**

**In light of the previous hundreds of years of fighting between the two species, the human and troll governments decided to implement the "Alternian Exchange Program" in which a certain number of troll families would be moved from the troll-only country of Alternia to humans cities around the world for schooling and the same number of human families would be moved to Alternia. All of this to promote better relations between the two. Twelve of these families are moved to John's hometown and John and his friends find themselves being pulled into the troll's strange world as things begin to take a turn for the worst.**

**Couples: Johnkat, GamTav, Dirk/Jake, EriSol, Rosemary, etc.**

**Read and Review my pretties!**

**The Alternian Exchange Program**

**BE JOHN EGBERT ****è**

John Egbert pulled aside the curtains on his window for the third time in as many minutes and peeked out to stare at the moving truck across the street. There were two humanoid's carrying boxes from the truck into the house. They looked so normal from here that John would not have been able to tell they were trolls if he hadn't known. He put his binoculars up to his glasses to watch them closely. Did that make him a stalker? No, no, he told himself. He wasn't a stalker, just…curious.

One of the figures was wearing a black hoodie with the hood pulled up over his head. The other wore another hoodie in the same manner except that his was a bright red. The black-clothed one seemed to yell quite a bit and sometimes received a smack to the head from the other one, just like normal siblings. But they weren't normal.

John had learned of the newest inhabitants of his street just a week before they moved in and a month after the instigation of the 'Alternian Exchange Program.' The program was meant to improve relations between humans and the inhabitants of the all-troll country of Alternia. The trolls had remained separated from the humans and only engaged with them when the two were at war, but now both governments had decided that more peaceful negotiations should be sought after, or so the news said. All John knew was that twelve troll families were moving to his town and twelve human families were moving to Alternia. Twelve! That was more than any other town in the country was accepting and John didn't even think that the program would do any good. After the mandatory six months in the opposite country, the families could choose to stay where they were or move back home and John was certain that the trolls would be gone as soon as the program allowed.

He knew that the troll's presence at his high school would only cause trouble and probably fights. Tensions between the two species were higher than ever since the program was introduced.

John saw the red one's hood slide back and he took in the troll's appearance with interest. He'd heard about the differences between troll's and humans in class when they'd learned about the other species. They'd studied the anatomy, caste system and cultural values of the troll's, but the only pictures had been drawings of the trolls and seeing one in real life was so much different.

Black hair was fluffed up slightly around his, John assumed it was a he because of the hair style, head with pointy dark ears poking out. John frowned. He thought trolls were supposed to have horns. Then the troll-boy turned around, talking without taking a breath, and John saw two small, nubby horns sticking slightly out of the hair. He could also see the trolls face clearly now. The skin was gray and appeared to be a bit tough but otherwise he looked like a human. Well, except for the sharp teeth that showed with every over-exaggerated word he spoke. His eyes opened and John gasped as the bright red of the irises that matched his hoodie. If John remembered correctly, though he wasn't sure he did, that meant that this troll was 17-18 at least and that red was his blood color.

The other troll turned to the still blathering red one and yelled something, showing a mouth of shark-like teeth. John pulled away from the window for a moment as a shiver rolled down his spine. Those teeth were even more evidence that the "Alternian Exchange Program" was a bad idea. Trolls were dangerous.

He looked back through only to jump a mile when he found the smaller troll to be staring directly at him with a loathing glare. The troll dropped the box he was holding and flipped John off with both hands, earning a hard smack from the older one, who picked up the box and dragged the smaller into the house.

John hurriedly pulled his curtains closed and dropped his binoculars. Damnit, he'd been caught spying on his new neighbor. Who was a dangerous troll who hated his guts now and who was probably going to his school. Well, maybe not. He was short enough to be in middle school, but knowing John's luck this troll would be a freshman as well.

Shit.

**BE KARKAT VANTAS ****è**

Karkat shook off his older brother as Kankri dragged him into the stupid human hive they now lived in. The older Vantas dropped him on the ground in the middle of the living room and left him there while he began to unpack the boxes. "WHAT WAS THAT FOR?" Karkat shouted, not getting up.

"You mustn't act so vulgar towards the new neighbors, Karkat," Kankri sighed. "Although most of your friends are used to your…less than hospitable acts, we cannot be sure that those same acts will not trigger the humans that we now live among. This _is _their home after all and we must be respectful of the original inhabitants and attempt to be friendly instead of trying our hardest to trigger them on our first day here."

Karkat groaned as the lecture continued, even though he had heard variations of it hundreds of times. "But he was fucking_ spying _on us through those damn binoculars."

Kankri whacked him on the head with the wooden spoon he had just pulled from the kitchen box. "_Language_?"

"_English_?" Karkat answered sarcastically, earning him another whack with the spoon. "OW!" The younger whined, holding his sore head.

"Then don't be a smart-butt," Kankri said. "Anyway, if it really triggered you so much then just tell him so. He looked about your age. You'll probably see him in school, so just explain that his curiosity could be better satisfied by him talking to you rather than spying on you and that the preformentioned spying triggered you so you would like him to stop. You should also apologize for your triggering behavior as it most likely did not leave a good impression of you on his mind." He tapped against Karkat's back with his foot. "And do please move. The second truck will be here shortly with the furniture and I would rather you not be in the middle of the room as we try and get it situated." He began to dig in another box, this one labeled CLOTHES. He pulled out a red sweater and unfolded it to reveal a framed photograph. "Karkat?"

Karkat sighed and looked at his older brother. "What, Kankri?"

"Please think about what I said. We live here now and I'd rather that you not burn all possible bridges with the humans before they can be built. I know that your friends also are part of the exchange program but it's not healthy to keep to just that small group. You need to branch out to get to know the humans. That is the entire point of the program. Who knows, you might even make some new friends."

Karkat forced himself to his feet and glared at the slightly taller troll. "I don't _want_ to make any new friends. I don't want to _get to know_ the idiotic humans. I _want_ to go home. I want to go back to our old hive."

Kankri sighed and looked at the picture in his hands. "You know why we can't do that, Karkat."

"YEAH," Karkat yelled, his hands curled into fists and shaking with rage. "BECAUSE YOU'RE RUNNING AWAY! YOU DON'T WANT TO BRANCH OUT TO THE HUMANS ANYMORE THAN I DO! YOU'RE JUST TOO MUCH OF A COWARD TO STAY THERE AND FACE WHAT HAPPENED TO-TO," Karkat choked a little and wiped tears away from his eyes.

Kankri moved forward to hug Karkat, but the smaller one pushed him away. "I know it's hard, but we need to move on and start fresh. That's why we're here-"

"YOU'RE A GOG DAM LIAR! WE'RE ONLY HERE BECAUSE YOU FOUND AN EASY WAY OUT. YOU THOUGHT MOVING HERE WOULD 'CALM ME DOWN' AND HELP ME 'MOVE ON!' I HEARD YOU AND HER TALKING WHEN YOU THOUGHT I WAS ASLEEP. OF COURSE YOU NEVER REALLY CARED! YOU DIDN'T CARE WHEN HE DIED! YOU DIDN'T CARE ABOUT HIM! YOU JUST WANTED TO RUN AWAY! YOU MOVED ME HERE AGAINST MY WILL AND DON'T YOU DARE FUCKING SAY IT WAS FOR MY OWN GOOD BECAUSE IF IT WAS WE WOULDN'T BE LIVING WITH HUMANS! _THEY'RE _THE ONES WHO KILLED HIM!" Karkat finished screaming at Kankri and was panting, his face red. Tears streamed down his face and he knocked the photo from Kankri's hand. He ran upstairs and into the room that was now his, slamming the door behind him.

**BE KANKRI VANTAS****è**

Kankri watched his little brother run away, crying, and sighed helplessly. He really had done this for both of them, but he couldn't blame Karkat for thinking otherwise. The death had affected him more than it had Kankri. The elder Vantas rubbed his temples to ease the throbbing before crouching pick up the now shattered frame. He picked up all the pieces of glass and carefully extracted the picture before throwing away the glass.

He stared at the photo for a moment. It had been taken when Karkat was barely past the grub stage of his life, only about a sweep old. It showed a tiny Karkat with fluffy hair and an angry expression, as always. Kankri remembered that this particular scowl was caused by the very idea of having his picture taken, but he hadn't been able to wriggle out of the event. Next to Karkat was a wide-eyed Kankri, both of the boys being held by a troll who looked like an older version of both of them. His dark hair hung slightly in his eyes, which glowed a bright red with happiness as he held his sons. His horns were only a little bit bigger than Kankri's were present day. He wore a cloak and was laughing slightly as Karkat attempted to wrap himself in the cloaks hood. A small red drop wet the paper next to the father's head.

Kankri quickly set the photograph on the mantle and wiped his eyes. Karkat might think he didn't care, but he did. He really did. He looked at their father's smiling face one more time before he broke down sobbing quietly. "I'm trying, I really am," he whispered. "I know you would probably be doing a better job but I'm doing my best. What would you have done?" But the picture didn't answer, it couldn't. He would have to solve this on his own.

**BE JOHN EGBERT ****è**

John was now hanging out in his backyard, sitting on an old spring ride from his childhood. His fences were high enough that no one could see over them and he was glad of that. That troll across the street seriously scared him. Maybe it was the absolute hatred he saw in the glare that he gave John. Maybe it was just the fact that he was a troll.

John shook his head quickly, he knew he shouldn't be stereotypical but it was hard not to be when all he heard was horrible things about that particular species.

Suddenly a soft voice reached his ears.

"Vwoom vwoom!" squealed a young child from the other side of John's fence. It wasn't often John heard children around and he was certain he'd never heard this voice before.

The voice cut off and a deep male voice reached his ears. "Where do you think you're going, freak?"

John jumped as he recognized the owner of the voice. It was Guy, a senior from his school that enjoyed picking on those who couldn't fight back. John had been on the receiving end of this for years before he'd met Dave, Rose and Jade. Hopefully this kid would be smart enough to run while he still could.

"I'm going home," said the voice again, speaking with a lisp.

"You must be new, freak. This is _my_ street."

"Nuh uh!" the kid lisped. "Tholluxth thaid that we lived here now. It'th our threet too!"

John felt his blood go cold at that. There was no way that Guy would take that sitting down, especially from a kid. But he wouldn't beat a little kid to a pulp…would he?

John scrambled off of the spring-horse-thing and ran to the gate where the voices were coming from and peeked through the pickets to see what was going on. He didn't want to face Guy, but he would if it looked like he really _was _going to beat up the kid.

Just outside the fence stood Guy, a tall, blonde jock, two or three of his dimwit friends, and a small kid. The kid couldn't of been more than five and he was most definitely a troll. He was wearing a yellow helmet with a visor colored red and blue, like 3D glasses. Black dark stuck out of the sides and four small horns stuck out the top. The bottom half of his face showed, crooked teeth poking out of his scowling mouth. He was wearing a yellow shirt and black pants, standing on a striped skateboard and holding a rocket ship toy.

"What did you say, troll-boy? And here I was trying to be nice. I was gonna let you off this time, but now you have to pay the fee."

"F-fee?" the kid stuttered.

"Yup," Guy smirked, sticking out his hand. "Pay up."

"But I don't have any money!"

Guy and his group strode forward, surrounding the kid. "Well, that won't do at all, now will it?" He snatched the rocket from him.

"HEY!" The kid shouted, reaching for it. "Give that back! That'th mine!"

"_It'th_ mine now," Guy taunted, mocking the kids lisp.

One of the friends kicked the skateboard out from under the kid, causing him to fall to the ground. "Oops," he snickered.

The kid sniffled and tried to stand, only to be pushed down again.

"You shouldn't even be here," Guy snorted. "You and the rest of the trolls are just freaks. You should all be put down like dogs. And look you, a freak among freaks. Aren't trolls only supposed to have two horns? And what's with this stupid helmet." He yanked the helmet off and held it up. The kids hair was insanely fluffy and fell in his eyes.

"It'th not thupid! You're thupid! Give it back!" Yellow tears streamed from under the hair and red and blue sparks crackled between his horns.

John finally built up his courage and slammed the gate open as hard as he could, shouting at the top of his lungs. The bullies jumped and ran, dropping the helmet and rocket to the ground.

John sighed in relief and kneeled next to the kid. "Hey there," he said softly.

The kid jumped and leaned away from him.

John held up his hands innocently. "I'm not going to hurt you. Those guys are just jerks. My name's John." He put out a hand to help the kid up.

The kid wiped his face and ignored John's hand. "I'm Mituna."

John just looked at him for a minute. "Where do you live?"

"Down the thtreet." He sniffled again and rubbed his arm.

"Are you hurt?" John asked.

"No, but they were tho mean! They took my helmet away." He had started to cry again. "And my thip and my thakeboard! Thupid humanth!" The red and blue sparks appeared again and surrounded John. He felt him self get lifted and thrown into the fence.

The wind was knocked out of him as he fell to the ground, gasping.

Mituna stood up quickly and ran to where John was. "I'm thorry! Oh, I jutht got mad!" He seemed to be freaking out, so John forced himself to sit up.

"I'm fine. See?"

Mituna's lip trembled. "I'm gonna be in trouble!'

"Why?"

"I'm not thupothed to uthe my powerth."

Suddenly a figure ran around the corner, yelling Mituna's name. He was an older troll with the same horns as Mituna, only slightly bigger. He wore 3D glasses and a black t-shirt with the Gemini symbol on it. "Tuna!" He yelled, also lisping. "What did I tell you? Don't wander off like that-" He cut off as he saw Mituna's crying face and John.

"You," he growled at John. "What did you do to my brother?"

Mituna jumped to John's defense. "No! Tholluxth! He didn't do anything! He chathed off thome thtupid humans who were bullying me! They took my helmet and thip!"

'Tholluxth' stopped and stared John. John looked back with fear evident in his eyes. He probably shouldn't show his fear, but he was terrified.

"Well, then. Thankth," the larger troll said awkwardly. He helped John up. "I'm Tholluxth Captor. And you," he turned to Mituna. "You know better than to uthe your powerth! I could thee them from a block away!"

"I'm thorry," Mituna said quietly.

Sollux sighed. "It'th alright. Jutht don't do it again. Bye, human." He put Mituna's helmet on his fluffy hair and set the boy on the skateboard. The strange energy crackled between his horns and a soft glow covered the boards wheels, rolling it forward. Mituna waved goodbye to John and proceeded to 'fly' his rocket, making engine noises.

John waved a little and went back inside. Maybe the new students wouldn't be so bad. At least, some of them.

"JOHN!" His dad yelled from inside the kitchen.

John walked in and covered his nose against the overpowering scent of Betty Crocker hell. His father shoved a plate of cookies into John's hands. "I want you to take these to the new neighbors. The ones who just moved in across the street."

John held the cookies as he was shoved out the door. He forced himself to walk to the dreaded place and rang the doorbell with a shaking hand. Maybe the older one would answer, he seemed nicer.

The door opened and black eyes glared at him from under a black hood. John gulped. Oh, shit.

**Kori: Well there's chapter one! Hope you enjoy and I'll update as soon as I can! Review please!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Kori: Hey guys! Thanks so much for all of the favorites/follows and reviews! You have inspired me to update quickly! Sorry if it's a little short. I will try to respond to reviews every chapter! **

**Review Corner:**

**Windy Silvermist: Thanks so much. If you think this is interesting, just wait, it gets better. Your comment was not too verbose by any means, I truly enjoy longer reviews.**

**AchicknamedBob: Thanks and I'm glad you enjoyed the idea! I hope you stick with me!**

**PandaBOSS: Thanks for the compliment. Here's an update with (hopefully) what you asked for!**

**lightmaster: I'm glad you enjoyed Mituna! I was worried that people would get upset because some of the dancestors are younger siblings and some are older! Here's a bit of JohnKat for you!**

**Guest: Thanks! Seriously though, if you think it's interesting now, hold on to your horns!**

**Fallonyourface: I know you reviewed through a pm but it's still much appreciated. Thanks for your comments on Kankri. I hope you continue reading!**

**Read and Review please!**

**The Alternian Exchange Program: Chapter 2**

**BE KARKAT VANTAS -**

Karkat was leaning against his window sill, peeking through the blinds. He squinted against the sun that reflected off the four wheeled metal things, cars, that humans drove. He hated being out during the day. Trolls were normally nocturnal because the sun shone much brighter in Alternia and most of the trolls couldn't stand it.

He touched the cold glass and pulled away after a moment, shivering. He still didn't understand how it could be so cold when the sun was out, but he knew he hated it.

He dropped the blinds back in place and rubbed his eyes. He just wanted to go home, but maybe Kankri was right. It probably wouldn't be a good idea to go back now that they didn't have their father to protect them anymore. Tears welled in Karkat's eyes again and he quickly wiped them away, growling. He hated crying. He hated being weak. He looked down at the bright red tears on his palm and flung them off. He hated that stupid color. Why couldn't he have a normal blood color? Then he could be normal…and he wouldn't have to hide who he really was. He wouldn't have to be protected and his father wouldn't have died.

A loud buzz pulled Karkat from his thoughts and he looked at his phone. His eyes widened and he smiled a bit as he saw who it was.

**terminallyCapricious began trolling carcinoGeneticist**

**TC: KaRbRoOoOoOo**

**TC: hEy**

**TC: hOnK :o)**

**CG: WHAT THE EVER LIVING FUCK DO YOU WANT?**

**TC: nOtHiN mUcH bRo**

**TC: JuSt WaNtEd To SeE iF yOu WeRe AlL uP aNd MoVeD iN yEt**

**TC: hOnK hOnK**

**TC: :o)**

**CG: NOT YET. ZAHHAK'S COMING OVER IN LIKE HALF AN HOUR TO HELP KANKRI WITH THE FUCKING FURNITURE**

**CG: WANNA MAKE YOURSELF USEFUL AND HELP OUT?**

**TC: sUrE bRo WhEn ShOuLd I cOmE oVeR**

**CG: WHAT THE FUCK DID I JUST SAY?**

**CG: LIKE HALF A HOUR**

**CG: OR SOONER**

**CG: I DON'T REALLY GIVE A FLYING RATS ASS**

**TC: wHaT's ThE mAtTeR bRo**

**CG: WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?**

**TC: yOu SoUnD aLl Up AnD uPsEt AbOuT sOmEtHin'**

**TC: dOeS mY mOrIaL uP aNd NeEd A feElInGs JaM, kArBrO**

**CG: WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU THINK THAT?**

**CG: MAYBE I'M JUST TIRED CAUSE I HAD TO HELP MY FUCKASS BROTHER MOVE INTO A STUPID HUMAN HIVE IN A STUPID HUMAN NEIGHBORHOOD**

**CG: EVER THINK OF THAT?!**

**TC: oH**

**CG: OH WHAT?**

**TC: sO iT wAs A mOtHeR fUcKiNg HuMaN wHo MeSsEd My BrO uP**

**TC: Im On My WaY**

**CG: WHAT**

**CG: NO!**

**CG: GAMZEE**

**terminallyCapricious ceased trolling carcinoGeneticist**

Karkat threw his phone down and groaned. He didn't really mind his morial coming over. In fact, he probably needed him. But it was just another headache to deal with.

The stalker across the street would probably be spying again, and Gamzee coming would just give him another thing to stare at. Plus, he'd probably end up bringing his creepy-ass older brother, Kurloz. The guy dressed like a skeleton and didn't talk. He just sat in the corner and stared at everyone without making a sound. Karkat had only heard him speak once and that was just to mumble something to his matesprit, Meulin.

On top of all that, Kankri would give him hell because he didn't like the Makara's in the first place. He thought that Gamzee would turn out to be a bad influence, or so he said. Karkat thought he was just scared of what the highbloods would do if they found out what the Vantas's blood color was. Karkat groaned again and threw an arm over his face.

Sometimes he really hated his life.

He trudged downstairs, not wanting Kankri to answer the door when Gamzee got here.

The doorbell rang, causing Karkat to jump. That was fast. Gamzee would usually take much longer, getting distracted by animals and shiny things.

"WOULD YOU MIND GETTING THAT, KARKAT?" Kankri yelled from the back of the hive.

Karkat rolled his eyes and opened the door, scowling.

His scowl deepened when he saw that it was not his morial, but instead the stalker human, standing at his doorstep and holding a plate of cookies.

Karkat was tempted to slam the door in the kids face, but decided he'd rather not get lectured today…again.

He looked the kid over once. Well, he couldn't really call him a kid, considering he was an inch taller than Karkat. He looked terrified, with his hands trembling and his eyes darting around.

He had pale, pinkish skin, like all humans, but his was smooth and almost unblemished. He had huge blue eyes that were hidden behind a pair of large glasses. Not hipster glasses, like Eriden wore, but nerdy glasses. He had slightly bucked teeth that poked out from lips that were trying to force themselves into a smile. A shock of black hair fell into his face and covered his eyes a little.

He was skinny, but not scrawny, and Karkat got the feeling this kid had gotten beat up a lot.

He was kind of cute, actually-No! Karkat narrowed his eyes as he forced that train to thought from his mind. He would not find a human cute, he hated them!

"So," he finally sneered at the kid. "The human finally decides to get a close up look at the trolls."

The human flinched. "I-I'm sorry about that," he mumbled.

"Oh, no it's fine," Karkat said sarcastically. "I just _love_ being stared at like I'm a fucking zoo animal. Go on. Go back to your pathetic human hive and spy on all of us through your little glass square. I assure, we all love it-" He was cut off by a hand clamping over his mouth.

Kankri dragged him backwards a little so he could be seen more clearly. Karkat growled and glared at his brother as the older troll stuck out his hand to the human.

"I'm very sorry about my brother's behavior. I've tried to tell him not to attempt to trigger every person he meets, but it seems to be his nature. I believe what he is trying to say is that he did not much appreciate being watched. I am sure that you meant no harm by the act, you were simply curious. However, I to would like to ask that you refrain from looking in on us in such a manner. If you are curious, you need only talk to us. I assure you, we do not bite."

The human gave a small nod as Kankri continued.

"And, oh, where are my manners? My name is Kankri Vantas and this is my younger brother Karkat. We will be attending the local high school. I will be in the junior class and Karkat will be in the freshman class."

The human's eyes widened. "I'm John Egbert. I'm a freshman, too."

"What a coincidence," Kankri exclaimed. "Well, if you wouldn't mind, perhaps I could trouble you to help my baby brother to learn his way around your school?"

John nodded hesitantly. "Sure. I've moved around a bit myself. It's hard to start a new school in the middle of the year."

Karkat suddenly licked Kankri's palm, causing the older to pull away with a girly screech. "I don't want a stalker to show me around the school!"

"KARKAT! That's incredibly rude, even for you!"

"Well, he's the one who decided to spy on us!"

"Um," John said, causing both brothers to turn on him. He took a step back, coughed and continued. "I'm really sorry about that. I guess I wouldn't like being stared at either. I'm sorry." His eyes shifted down to his feet.

Karkat blushed the smallest bit. Damn this human for being cute. "Fine," he grumbled. "Just don't fucking do it again."

John straightened and perked up a bit, smiling a buck-toothed smile. "Thanks! I really can show you around the school if you'd like."

"Why the fuck not," Karkat muttered, hiding his red face with his hoodie.

"Great! I'll meet you here on Monday!"

Karkat didn't even verbalize an answer this time. Then he looked up and saw Gamzee walking up the sidewalk. "Hey!" he called, causing John to jump and look over his shoulder. At that point Gamzee was right behind him. Karkat saw a flash of fear in John's blue eyes.

Suddenly, John shoved the cookie tray into Kankri's hands. "My dad made these for you. Welcome to the neighborhood. Gotta go!" Then he ran away, avoiding Gamzee as much as he could.

"What did I do?" the juggalo said, giving a small honk.

**BE JOHN EGBERT - **

John gulped as the troll glared at him. His hands trembled under the loathing gaze and he tried to look everywhere but the troll. Now that he was close up the troll, it was hard not to stare.

The troll's eyes were black aside from the yellow outside and his eyebrows were down in an angry 'v'. His mouth was pulled into a scowl with a few of those sharp teeth poking over his bottom lip. His gray skin seemed like it would be tough, but was still smooth aside from a scar that traced his jaw from his ear to his chin. It was thin and slightly raised, only a shade lighter than the rest of his face. Pointy ears were slightly folded down like an angry cat and were barely visible at the moment. His horns were visible though. They were mostly yellow, with some orange coloring that disappeared into the black hair that hung in his face.

"So," the troll sneered. "The human finally decides to get a close up look at the trolls."

John flinched. "I-I'm sorry about that," he stuttered.

The troll's glare deepened as he spoke again. John wondered if all of the trolls were this loud and angry. A gray hand suddenly covered the troll's mouth and dragged him backwards.

The older troll from before appeared from behind him and stuck out the hand that wasn't silencing the younger.

"I'm very sorry about my brother's behavior. I've tried to tell him not to attempt to trigger every person he meets, but it seems to be his nature. I believe what he is trying to say is that he did not much appreciate being watched. I am sure that you meant no harm by the act, you were simply curious. However, I to would like to ask that you refrain from looking in on us in such a manner. If you are curious, you need only talk to us. I assure you, we do not bite," the older one said without taking a breath. John didn't know if he should be impressed, annoyed, or if he should reply. He decided to just nod.

"And, oh, where are my manners? My name is Kankri Vantas and this is my younger brother Karkat. We will be attending the local high school. I will be in the junior class and Karkat will be in the freshman class."

John's eyes widened. So he had been right. He wondered what the year would be like with these trolls at his school. "I'm John Egbert. I'm a freshman too!"

"What a coincidence!" Kankri said and went on to suggest that John could show Karkat around the school. Man, he was kind of annoying actually. John would rather talk to the angry one.

He didn't really mind the idea of showing Karkat around though. It might give him the chance to patch things up and he could maybe even make a friend! He doubted many people would take kindly to the new students and he could understand the feeling. When he was younger, him and his father moved around a lot for some reason, so John was often forced to attend several schools during the course of each year. They'd moved here when John was nine and John had met his friends last fall. He knew how hard it was to start over when you didn't know anyone.

"Sure. I've moved around a bit myself. It's hard to start a new school in the middle of the year."

A smile stretched across Kankri's face, then it turned to disgust as he leapt away from his brother, shaking his hand and screeching like a girl.

"I don't want a stalker to show me around the school!" Karkat growled, fixing John with a disgusted look.

The two brothers started fighting, yelling at each other. "Um," John said, not fully expecting them to hear him. They both went silent and turned on him, Karkat glaring and Kankri's lip trembling with rage at his brother.

John apologized the best he could. When he thought about it, he knew that he wouldn't like being stared at either. He didn't even know why he thought it was a good idea in the first place. The trolls had emotions, they weren't some kind of animals, and John felt really guilty about it.

He heard Karkat sigh. The trolls arms crossed and he looked away. "Fine. Just don't fucking do it again." John had to wonder whether that acceptance was to avoid another lengthy speech from Kankri.

John smiled at the two trolls. "Thanks! I really can show you around the school if you'd like."

He noticed Karkat's cheeks darken with a tinge of red and wondered if he was blushing. The troll quickly pulled up his hood, not-so-subtly hiding his face. "Why the fuck not?"

John giggled silently at the blush. It made Karkat look kind of cute, actually. Not that John was homosexual, which he wasn't, but he just sort of noticed it. In a bro way. He shook the thoughts from his mind. "Great! I'll meet you here on Monday!"

Karkat didn't even answer him this time, but instead looked over John's shoulder. His face brightened and he yelled, "Hey!" causing John to jump.

He spun around and stiffened in fear as he saw the troll towering over him. He was at least six feet, if not more, and his horns only added to his height. They were slightly curved like goat horns and went to sharp tips. Large fangs poked out of his mouth and white paint covered most of his face. His eyes were half closed and his pupils were huge like he was high on something. A lazy smile spread across the trolls face as he looked down at John. He was wearing only a t-shirt, despite the fact that it was winter, and polka-dotted pants. His hair was absolutely insane, as if he had stuck his finger into an electrical socket. John shoved his tray of cookies into Kankri's hands and told them goodbye before running off.

He felt a little guilty for being rude again, but his nerves were shot for the day from dealing with bullies and angry trolls. He would try to make it up to the taller troll next time.

**BE KARKAT VANTAS -**

Karkat watched as John ran away. Stupid human. He shook his head again and grabbed Gamzee's arm. "Idiot!" he growled. "You're going to freeze to death if you walk around in just a t-shirt!"

"I'll be fine, Karbro," Gamzee said in his gruff voice. His glazed eyes shifted to Kankri, who had his arms crossed and a look of disapproval carved into his face. "Hey, Kanbro!"

"Hello, Gamzee," Kankri greeted stiffly. "I would love to stay and chat, but there is quite a bit of work still to be done. Do try to stay out of trouble, you two." With that, he turned on his heel and stalked out of the room.

Karkat rolled his eyes at the false politeness, but Gamzee was smiling like an imbecile. Probably because Kankri usually ignored him and hurt his feelings. He dragged his morial to his room and sat him on the floor. He grabbed blankets for the both of them before sitting down beside Gamzee.

Gamzee was the first to talk. "So, was that the mother fucker who made my best friend mad?"

Karkat sighed and lay down. "Yeah. He's an annoying human who lives across the street. He was staring at me and Kankri while we were moving in. Through FUCKING BINOCULARS! As if it wasn't bad enough that I had to FUCKING MOVE HERE, but the second I get here, some FUCKASS DECIDES TO STARE AT ME LIKE I'M IN A FUCKING ZOO!"

He felt Gamzee's hand against his cheek, papping Karkat as he shooshed him. "Just calm down, brother. You seemed okay with the mother fucker just a minute ago."

Karkat groaned as his cheeks heated up again. "So? That doesn't mean any fucking thing!"

Gamzee stared at him.

"WHAT?" Karkat snapped.

"Karbro, are you blushing?" he said with a small smirk.

Karkat touched his face. "N-NO! Just shut the fuck up!"

He forced the blush away and glanced at Gamzee again.

"So," Karkat said, grasping for something to change the subject. "How are things with Tavros?" He smirked as Gamzee's face darkened with an indigo blush that Karkat could see even through the face paint.

"You _still_ haven't talked to him?" Karkat said in disbelief. Gamzee had been going on and on about his flush crush for at least half a sweep now!

Gamzee shook his head and began talking about the little Taurus again. Karkat breathed a sigh of relief. This was a conversation he could handle.

**Kori: Okay so this chapter was mainly a filler chapter with some plot. The next few will be the same. Character intro, some plot and filler. I hope you enjoyed. Review please!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Kori: Hey everybody! I'm back! I'm so sorry it took so long and I really have no excuse. I lost my flashdrive that all my stories were on and literally only found it a couple weeks ago. Then there's the fact that the only internet access I have is normally at school where fanfiction is banned. BUT THAT IS STILL NO EXCUSE! I'm also sorry that it's mainly introductions but nevertheless I hope you enjoy.**

**Review Corner:**

**Saint Raven: Thank you! I hope you enjoy this chapter!**

**Socks and butter (Guest): Thank you! I think my story will be a bit more unique later on. I have some ideas… wink wonk! Enjoy!**

**lightmaster: Hey again! Thanks for your comment on Kurloz! I love his character! I'm glad you found my writing funny! Here's your update and you're welcome!**

**Masterblader158: Thank you! I really was worried about that but the ages actually play a part in the major plotline! **

**Fallonyourface: Thank you so much! The drawings were just adorable! I loved it!**

**animeLover: Thank you! I do not currently have a pesterchum but I am attempting to get one!**

**Windy Silvermist: Thanks! I'm glad you enjoyed John!**

**strangerYOUknow: Thanks and I'm sorry about that, that was mainly for the main couples first meetings from both points of view...please get out of my corner**

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**Summer Blooms: Thanks a ton! I'm actually planning a lot more with the canon relationships with a few of my OTP's thrown in there for shits and giggles. **

**A/N And for everyone that doesn't know I do have a tumblr where I post art and fandom stuff! I'm askKoriTheEvilEditor if you're interested!**

**Read and Review!**

**The Alternian Exchange Program chapter 3**

**BE KARKAT VANTAS -**

Karkat was jerked out of his sleep by the screeching of his hives doorbell. He groaned and yanked his covers over his head, hoping that Kankri would answer it. After a few minutes it became obvious that Kankri was _not _going to do so. Karkat dragged himself out of bed and glanced at the clock.

His eyes narrowed in disbelief at the time. It was five! Who the fuck rings someone's doorbell at five in the morning!

The bell rang again and Karkat stumbled down the stairs, not even bothering to get dressed. He was wearing the black boxers and gray t-shirt that he normally slept in and who gave a shit what the fuckers at the door thought. He opened the door, muttering profanities under his breath. His eyes widened. "Gamzee? What the fuck are you doing here?"

His morial was standing in the doorway, that same lazy smile as always plastered across his face. He looked like he had slept in his clothes, but at least this time he had a jacket on. A backpack was slung across one of his shoulders. It was black with indigo horn designs all over it and a Capricorn symbol charm hanging off the zipper.

"I was all up and mother fucking ready for school, Karbro. You said that little human mother fucker was gonna show you all around the fucking school today and I thought we could up and join in."

Karkat peered around and Gamzee and saw three trolls fooling around behind him.

He glanced at the juggalo again. "That still doesn't explain why you're at my house at five in the fucking morning!"

Gamzee blinked. "I didn't know when you'd be leaving with the human mother fucker so we got here with time to fucking spare." The clown actually looked proud of his logic and Karkat was too tired to argue with him at the moment.

"You know what, fine! Fucking fine! You and you're little party can hang around the living room until time to go." He stepped out of the way, rubbing his eyes as the four trolls filed in. Gamzee plopped down on the couch immediately and stretched out, his feet under the coffee table.

Then came Kurloz. The skeleton/clown whatever-the-fuck gave Karkat a nod of greeting. His face paint was in the form of a skull and was emphasized by the skeleton hoodie he wore. Two bags hung from his shoulder, one was purple with black skulls and a Capricorn symbol on the zipper and the other was olive green with black paw prints and a Leo symbol on the zipper. From over his shoulder peeked a small head with olive-green eyes and two thick and pointy horns. A blue tail waved around behind them as she waved. "Hello, Karkitty," she chirped.

Karkat rolled his eyes at the nickname. "Hello, Meulin," he sighed. If Meulin was here then the last troll would have to be-

Karkat almost fell to the ground as someone leaped on his back. "Good meowning, Karkitty," the small troll purred. "Isn't today just purrfect?"

"Nepeta," Karkat growled. "It's nice to see you too. Now could you please get THE HELL OFF OF ME?"

The cat-troll slid off of his back and smiled at him. She looked like a smaller version of Meulin except that she was wearing a blue hat with cat ears and a huge olive-colored coat. "Sorry," she giggled.

"KARKAT WHAT IS THE MEANING OF ALL THIS RACKET? DO YOU REALIZE WHAT TIME IT-" yelled Kankri from the top of the stairs. The elder Vantas stopped as he took in the scene below him. He stormed down the stairs and grabbed Karkat's arm, dragging the younger into the kitchen. Karkat flailed around a bit before he was flung into the cabinets. "What, _exactly_, are they doing here?" Kankri hissed.

"Don't act like it's my fault," Karkat hissed back. "Apparently Gamzee thought it was a good idea. You know he doesn't really think these things through. He's already here anyway so I'm not going kick him out in the cold! You know Kurloz will keep Meulin and Nepeta in line and he's not going to make any noise. Gamzee's pretty quiet so it's not like they're going to be that much trouble."

Kankri growled under his breath. "I don't want them in my house. You know very well how I feel about the Makara's, Karkat. I do not even have my contacts in." At the moment his eyes were a very bright candy red rather than the slightly darker red John had seen the other day. The elder Vantas wore colored contacts so that his eyes would appear as though he was a rust blood.

"Then go put them in if it's really that big a deal," Karkat huffed. "It doesn't matter as much as you seem to think it does."

"Fine then, Karkat. If it doesn't matter then why don't you wear your blood color like the others do? Maybe I should just waltz out there right now and show off our color to the highbloods in our living room since you're so _sure_ it'll all turn out just fine," Kankri said scathingly. "There's a reason I work so hard to keep this a secret, Karkat. It's the same reason Dad had."

"But Dad _did_ tell other trolls, Kankri. He told the ones he trusted and I highly doubt Gamzee or Kurloz would care. They don't give a damn about the hemospectrum any more than I do!"

"And look where trusting others with this got Dad! If you tell the Makara's you'll end up just like him, dead at their claws!"

Karkat bared his teeth. "_Don't you dare talk about Dad that way! You and I both know it wasn't The Grand Highblood that killed Dad, it was those filthy humans!_"

Kankri narrowed his eyes and his voice took on a tone as if he were talking to a grub. "Believe what you wish, Karkat. You know that I'm right, you're just too stubborn to admit it."

Karkat shoved by Kankri, shouldering the elder hard in the side. "I'm not kicking them out," he hissed. "And neither are you!"

He glanced at the visitors as he exited the kitchen. Gamzee was curled up on the couch, fast asleep, with Nepeta napping on his feet. Kurloz was sitting in Kankri's armchair with Meulin in his lap, braiding his wild hair. He figured they'd be fine for the moment and dashed up the stairs to get ready for school. He didn't particularly care what the humans thought of his appearance, but he didn't want to piss Kankri off any more than he already had. The guy was enough of a pain when he wasn't angry.

He quickly decided on a black turtleneck with a light gray Cancer sign on the front and dark gray jeans. He brushed his teeth quickly and yanked a brush through his hair.

He stuffed his backpack, it was just plain black with a silver Cancer symbol hanging from the zipper, with school supplies and several troll romance novels. The books were at the bottom of the bag where, hopefully, nobody would find it. He slung it over his shoulder and ran out, sliding down the stair banister and almost crashing into Meulin at the bottom, who was perched on the end. Kurloz was on the ground, leaning against the stairs with Meulin playing with his hair.

Gamzee was curled up on the couch, fast asleep. His tucked up legs made a triangle space on the couch where Nepeta was curled up, also asleep with her nail neatly wrapped around her. Kankri was already dressed and perched stiffly on the arm chair like he was ready to abscond at given point.

Karkat glanced at the clock. Damnit, it was only six. The human wouldn't be here for another half an hour or so and the tension in the room was already grating on his nerves. He strode over to Gamzee and shook the clown awake.

His eyes slowly blinked open. A small smile lit up the painted face. "What's up, Karbro?"

"Did you eat breakfast yet?"

Gamzee paused and shook his head. "Nah, bro."

The Vantas sighed and shook his head, though he'd expected that answer.

"Why Karkitty?" Meulin asked, looking up from Kurloz's head which was now covering in little braids. "Are you gonna cook something?"

Karkat glared at her. "I'm not your fucking maid but we have cereal in the kitchen. You're welcome."

"Do you have any animals?" Nepeta yawned from her spot on the couch.

"Yeah," Meulin piped up. "I could go fur a mouse or two right now."

"No I do not have any animals!" Karkat said. "I have _normal_ food."

"Fine," Meulin huffed, prancing off to the kitchen with Kurloz right behind her and the rest of the group quickly following.

Within about twenty minutes they were all contently eating at the table. Kurloz and Meulin were sharing a few waffles they had dug out of the freezer. Nepeta had found a package of Poptarts and was downing a glass of milk with them. Gamzee was sipping happily on a bottle of Faygo he'd found in the fridge, Karkat always kept a couple bottles around for his morial, after Karkat had practically force-fed him a bowl of cereal. The clown didn't eat enough as it was and Karkat wasn't about to let him skip another meal. Kankri was sitting next to Karkat, nibbling on a piece of toast. Karkat himself had just eaten a piece of fruit and was now waiting for the others to finish up.

Just as the last of the plates went in the sink, the doorbell rang.

Karkat jumped up to answer it before any of the imbeciles that had taken over his house could. The human stood on his doorstep, a giant, dorky grin across his pink face.

**BE JOHN EGBERT - **

John's morning was going smoothly so far. He hadn't slept through his alarm. He'd gotten dressed quickly and he was at the troll's house with a bit of time to spare. He pressed the doorbell and heard the ring echo from inside the house.

There was some scuffling on the other side of the door before it opened to reveal an obviously irritated Karkat.

The troll looked extremely tired with shadows under his eyes. His hair was disheveled and his sweater was crooked, like he'd gotten dressed in a hurry. Actually, he looked like a grumpy cat.

John internally giggled at the thought, but jumped as Karkat stumbled forward, almost running straight into him. A small head peeked over his shoulder, the source of his sudden movement. It was a girl troll with a blue cat hat and a giant olive green coat.

"Who's the human boy, Karkitty?" She asked, clinging to the trolls back.

John couldn't hold back a laugh at the nickname, causing Karkat to glare at him.

"Not a fucking word, Egbert," he growled. Then he looked at the troll on his back. "AND GET THE HELL OFF OF ME!"

The troll giggled and scrambled up and over Karkat's shoulder, almost forcing the troll to his knees. The string of profanities that were emitted from Karkat's fanged mouth made John laugh even louder. His laughter cut off as the troll girl got right in his face. She stuck a finger in his mouth, pulling his lips to the side.

"He hasn't got any fangs!" she squealed.

Karkat quickly pulled her back, much to John's relief. He gave Karkat a grateful look, receiving only a glare from the troll.

"Of course he doesn't have fangs you stupid meowbeast!" Karkat growled. "He's a human!" He stepped back inside the house for a moment to scream "HEY ITS TIME TO GO!"

John took a step back as four trolls filed out. He already knew Kankri but the others were strangers. One of them was the giant who'd scared him yesterday and the one standing next to him was even taller. The larger of the two was wearing skull face paint and a skeleton hoodie. A troll who looked like an taller version of the cat troll he'd already met waved at him from the skeleton's back.

John gulped a little and tried to politely hide his panic. He certainly didn't want to offend the big scary trolls.

Karkat sighed a gestured to each troll. "You already know Kankri. You met Gamzee yesterday," he pointed to the clown troll. "This is his brother, Kurloz, Kurloz's matesprit -er girlfriend- , Meulin, and her sister Nepeta. They'll be coming with us."

John forced a quick nod and a smile. "S-sure," he chirped. He didn't want to be rude or anything but the taller ones just had a slight air of unstability that put him on edge.

Karkat huffed and began to walk, pulling John along with him at the front of the herd. They'd only gone about a block when a familiar voice made John look back to see a flash of red, blue, and yellow flying towards him. "JOOOOOOHHHHHHNNNN!" was all he heard before a small troll crashed into him at full speed.

He stumbled backwards, crashing into Karkat. The trollimmediately shoved away from him, forcing John to steady himself before he fell.

"Hey, Mituna-" was all he managed to get out before the elder Captor came racing around the corner. Mituna scrambled over Johns shoulder and jumped onto Kurloz, climbing up the creepy trolls torso and sitting on his shoulders. He stuck a forked tongue out at his older brother.

"Mituna Get down from there!" Sollux demanded, skidding to a stop a few feet from Kurloz. "How many timeth do I have to tell you not to uthe your powerth in public before it getth through that thick helmet of yourth? You're going to a human thchool now and thomebody ith going to get hurt if you don't cut it out!"

"Thut up, Tholloxth!" Mituna shouted over Kurloz's head. "I won't do it a thchool! Gothh, why do you alwayth yell at me!"

"Becauthe you never lithten to me, you little brat!" Sollux growled.

Kurloz glared at Sollux a little. He seemed protective of Mituna. 'Probably one of those weird troll relationships,' John thought. He felt awkward watching the whole situation so, without much forethought, he stepped between the two trolls.

"Hey, um, I hate to interrupt but we do need to get to school." He winced as the glares turned on him.

"Egderp's right, for once," Karkat sighed. "Lets just get to school so we can get this damn 'tour' over faster"

Kurloz gave a quick nod after one last glare at Sollux. Sollux let out a low growl. "Fine, KK," he muttered.

"Okay, then," John said hesitantly. "Let's just...go."

The group was about a block and a half from the school when another pair of voices stopped them.

"Kar? Gam? Wwait up!" Shouted a wavy voice.

"'Ey, quit runnin'" shouted another voice.

Johnn turned around and even Sollux looked up from pissing off Karkat. Two obvious siblings were about ten feet from them. The younger looking one was jogging toward them, a purple cape and striped scarf flung out behind him. He wore a long sleeved black shirt with a violet Aquairious symbol on the front and black pants with purple stripes. Large glasses hung on the tip of his nose. His hair was short with a streak of violet at the front of the fohawk. His horns were z-shaped and instead of pointy ears he had what looked like fins sticking out of the sides of his head.

The other one was walking toward them at a leisurely pace, his hands in the pockets of his ripped jeans. He had a white shirt with the same symbol as the other, and he was wearing a leather jacket over it. His horns and ears were the same, but his hair was shorter. A lit cigarette hung from his lips, which twitched into a smirk as he drew closer to the group.

The caped one reached them quickly and stopped to catch his breath. "Hey, Kar," he greeted, his smiled dropping as he eyed the Gemini next to him. "Wwhy is he here?" He sneered, glaring at the yellow blood.

"Great to thee you two, fithh thtick. I thee you're thtill wearing that thupid cape."

"And I see you still can't get rid of that ridiculous lisp, lowwblood."

Sollux's lip curled up as he growled.

Luckily, Karkat stepped in before they could get physical. "Will you idiots quick black flirting for five minutes? Some of have more important things to do than listen to you to beat around the kismeisis bush. "

Both trolls immediately began to protest, though the fishy one looked mildly offended when Sollux began fake gagging.

"Vantas is right," the other one said. He stepped up beside Kankri. "Hey, Kanny."

Kankri sighed. "Cronus, how many times must I request that you not call me that? It is not my proper name and it triggers me to be called by a name that is not mine."

"Awwww," Cronus whined, slinging his arm around Kankris shoulders. "Porrim calls you that."

Kankri shrugged off the arm quickly. "Porrim has exclusive permission to call me by that name. We have discussed it and it is not just you that I ask not call me by a nickname. I apologize if I have offended you by assuming that you thought it was only you as I would not wish to offend you in any way-" he cut off with a screech. He turned to Cronus and smacked his hand away from where it was gripping his rear.

"Cronus!" He squeaked, his lip trembling and his face was slowly darkening. "N-not only was that very triggering but also extremely inappropriate. Please refrain from attempting that ever again."

Cronus snickered and strolled in the direction of the school. "We'll see about that, chief."

John watched awkwardly as Kankri chased after Cronus, still lecturing away. He glanced over at Karkat, who rolled his eyes and sighed. "The pervert hitting on my brother is Cronus and the hipster is Eridan. "

John nodded quickly and followed Karkat toward the school, which loomed in front of them. Standing at the front doors, John saw his friends and let out a small sigh of relief. The trolls around him seemed to be multiplying and he wasn't entirely comfortable being the only human in the group.

"So, Kar," John heard Eridan say. "Wwho's the human?"

John froze at the haughty and slightly threatening tone of his voice. He knew trolls were supposed to hate humans, but all of the ones he'd met so far had been pretty nice. What if they turned on him.

"My fuckass neighbor, John. He offered to show me and Kankri around the fucking school and of course my damn brother accepted."

John peeked around Karkat to where Eridan was and gave a shy wave. Eridan stared at him for a moment, a slightly disdainful look in his face, before sticking his hand out toward John across Karkat's chest. "Wwell I suppose you don't seem too bad...for a landdwweller."

John shook the offered hand. "Thanks...I think."

Karkat shoved their arms away from him. "Fucking great. Now get your hands out of my face."

John chuckled at Karkats grumpiness as they went up the stairs. John broke away from the trolls and ran to his friends. "Hey guys!"

Rose gave him a small smile and Dave gave a nod. "Sup, Egbert?" The 'cool' kid said.

Jade grinned. "Hi!"

Behind them John could see Dirk flirting with the ever oblivious Jake and Jane throwing away the latest bottle of vodka Roxy had tried to sneak into the school.

"Who are these dumbasses?" He heard a now familiar angry voice say behind him.

John turned around just as the rest of the trolls he'd met gathered around. He could sense his friends stiffening behind him and he even heard the other conversations in the vicinity stop.

"Karkat!" Kankri scolded. "You shouldn't be so rude to John's companion's!"

John laughed a bit nervously. "It's alright. I've gotten used to him. These-" he gestured to the teens behind him"-are my friends!" He pointed to each in turn.

"-Rose-" She snapped her book shut and waved politely to the trolls.

"-Dave-" He pushed his shades up even further on the bridge of his nose before giving a small nod.

"-Jade-" She grinned widely and gave a spazzy wave.

"-Jade's cousin, Jake-" He waved.

"-Dave's brother, Dirk-" He gave a quick salute.

"-my cousin, Jane-" She smiled, both of her hands busy steadying the stumbling Roxy.

"-and Rose's sister, Roxy!" The drunk girl grinned at the trolls.

"What's up, guuuuys?" she slurred.

"So what's up with all the trolls?" Dave asked.

"Yes, John," Rose said. "I think that's what all of us are wondering."

John scratched the back of his head. "They're some of the new transfers and I offered to show them around. I think I remember all their names...These two are Karkat and Kankri, they live across the street from me." Kankri waved politely and Karkat just glared at them.

"Then there's Kurloz and Gamzee-" Gamzee gave a lazy grin and Kurloz just kind of stared.

"-Nepeta and Meulin-" Both of them waved excitedly.

"-Eridan and...Cronus, right?" Eridan just looked at the humans haughtily and Cronus smirked. "Yeah, kid."

"-and...Where's Sollux and Mituna?"

"Captor had to take the brat to his school," Karkat grumbled. "He'll be back in a few minutes."

"That is very rude, Karkat," Kankri said, sounding exhausted.

"Yeah, yeah."

Suddenly Nepeta perked up and ran to the railing, jumping over it and pouncing on a tall male troll at the bottom. Two shorter trolls looked on, laughing behind their hands. The tall troll Nepeta had jumped on spun around in surprise, relaxing slightly when he saw who it was. He had shoulder length hair that was completely straight, which John thought was rather strange for a troll. One of his horns was long and shaped like an arrowhead at the tip and the other was broken off halfway up the horn. He was wearing a black tank top with a blue Sagittarius symbol on the front, grey cargo shorts, cleats and a pair of broken black shades.

He smiled a bit as he saw Nepeta on his back, revealing broken teeth. He very carefully lifted her from his back. She grabbed his hand and dragged him to where the rest of the group was standing. "Efurryone! This is my meowrail, Equius!"

John waved enthusiastically, seeing Karkat facepalm from the corner of his eye. "Hi! I'm John!"

The tall troll gave him a disdainful look. "Hello, human."

"Be nice to Karkitty's friend, Equius," Nepeta scolded.

Equius gave the cat troll a slight smile and John heard Karkat growling behind him.

"Uh, hey, wait up," came a shy voice from the wheelchair ramp and a crippled troll pushed himself up, rolling quickly after the two small trolls that had been beside Equius. One of them wore a Sagittarius shirt like Equius and goggles and his horns were like Equius except that neither of his were broken. The other one was slightly taller, with spiked hair died red on the ends. His horns were large and went out to the sides before turning upward like a bull. His shirt had a Taurus symbol on the front and he had a wooden sword tucked into his belt. "Fine," the Taurus said, grinning and running back down the ramp with the Sagittarius chasing right after. The two trolls got behind his wheelchair and pushed him quickly to the top.

John could now see that this troll had horns like the young Taurus and was also wearing symbol, both of their's colored a peanut butter brown. The older ones hair was cut in a mohawk and he waved shyly. "H-hey guys."

"Yo, Tavbro," Gamzee said a little louder than he normally spoke, striding over and leaning on the chair.

"H-hi, Gamzee," the troll stuttered.

A hand grabbed John's shoulder and shoved him to the side. He caught himself on Rose's shoulder and turned to see Karkat stepping where he had just been. "Okay, Fuckasses. We are never going to get this tour over with if we dont get started soon. _So_, let's get these fucking introductions out of the fucking way. "That-" he points at the one in the wheelchair. "-is Tavros. That-" he pointed at the younger Taurus. "-is his younger brother, Rufioh. And, lastly thank gog-" he pointed at the goggled one. "-is Equius's little brother, Horuss. Get it! Got it? Good!"

The angry troll stomped toward the glass doors, only to be stopped by a loud voice. "KARKLES!"

Karkat froze and clenched his fists. "I said... NO FUCKING NICKNAMES YOU NOOKSNIFFER!"

A girl troll was climbing the stairs, tapping a white cane against the ground in front of her. She wore red glasses and a black shirt with a teal Libra symbol. Her horns were really pointy and she was grinning in a hyperactive and slightly terrifying way. "Oh be nice, Karkles. " She giggled as he began to scream profanities at her.

"Oh calm your titth, kk," Sollux lisped as he came up behind her. "Tz'th jutht playin around."

The troll girl giggled and sniffed the air with sudden interest. "Who's the blueberry blast? Smells amazing!"

"That would be one of the humans, I would assume," Kankri said. "As he is wearing the most blue of the group."

"Yup, that's me!" John piped up, waving at her.

He was confused by her lack of acknowledgement and her continuing to sniff and look around until Karkat tapped his shoulder. "Stop waving, idiot. She's blind."

"Oh, sorry."

"Dont apologize. She doesn't give a shit, you just look stupid."

"Okay! Thank's Karkat!"

"Don't mention it. Seriously. Don't. Anyway, that's Terezi. She has a little sister named Latula, but she's probably at school with Mituna. Which is where the other two brats should be heading soon enough."

"Don't call them brats, Karkat," John scolded. "They're adorable!"

"You say that now. Just wait til you get whacked in the kneecaps by Rufioh's sword. That shit hurts!"

John giggled. "You're so grumpy, Karkat!"

Karkat rolled his eyes. "Shut up, Egderp."

"Egderp?" came Dave's voice. "That's fuckin' genius!"

"Karkat!" John whined. "Don't give him any ideas! He's bad enough as it is!"

Dave sauntered over to Karkat with a slight grin on his otherwise straight face. "I think we're gonna get along, Krabkrab."

Karkat curled his lip over his teeth and growled lowly. "Shut up, Dave."

The 'cool' kid adjusted his shades. "Aww, little troll knows my name already," he cooed.

Karkat glared at him. "Of course I fucking know your name. You were just introduced two seconds ago you sack of horse shit!"

"Ooooooooh, Karkat," a snickering voice sounded from the doorway.

Every head in the group immediately turned to the girl who had just exited the school. She was a troll with long hair that fell in her face slightly. Her horns were strangely shaped. One had a half moon shape on the end and the other sort of turned to point down at the end. She wore a gray shirt unbuttoned over a black shirt with a blue Scorpio symbol. Her one visible eye gleamed out from behind thin framed glasses, the other lens blacked out to hide her other eye. Thin fangs protruded from between her lips, which were colored bright blue.

She smirked and took a step forward, flicking her hair out of her face with one hand. "Aren't we supposed to be making nice with the humans?"

John frowned a little bit as the light of the morning sun caught her hand. Was it...silver? Was she wearing a glove or something? But her other hand looked normal! Was she only wearing one glove? He hardly noticed Karkat yelling at the girl until she was laughing at whatever he had said.

"Why don't you be nicer to me, McShouty?" she pouted, crossing her arms but her eyes never lost the mischievous glint.

"Oh fuck off, Serket," Karkat shouted. Kankri seemed to have given up at this point, only sighing and shaking his head at Karkat's 'triggering' behavior.

"Vriska, stop running off like that," another female said, racing out behind 'Vriska' and stopping at her side. She looked the same in every way except both her eyes were showing and she wore a blue dress. Her lips were pursed and her arms were loaded with thick books. "I told you to stay with me until we can get our schedules."

Vriska rolled her eyes and seemed about to reply when another snarky voice overtook hers. "Clam down, Aranea."

John's head turned again. God how many of them were there? They just kept coming.

This one was wearing pink glasses with a matching bandanna over her hair. Her horns were blunt on the ends but tall, curving out slightly. Two braids came from under her bandanna, thin and going to her feet. That actually seemed a bit dangerous to John. What if someone stepped on it? But whatever. She was wearing a simple black shirt with a pink Pisces symbol on it. She grinned at Aranea and ignored the rest of the group, striding up to the Scorpio.

A smaller and similar looking troll ran up the stairs. Between the colors and the looks, it was really easy to tell who was related among the trolls. This girl had pink swim goggles resting on top of her head and a colorful skirt on. She wore a lot of jewelry, from the bangles on her wrists to her necklaces to the tiara on her head. She stopped beside Eridan and wrapped her arms around her waist, panting.

"H-hey guys," she gasped. "Cod, she runs fast."

"Hey, Fef," Eridan said, his face darkening slightly and his fins seeming to perk up.

She grinned widely and stood straight, catching her breath. "Oh shello, Erifin!"

The disdainful look he'd been wearing from pretty much the moment John had met him lightened as his lips twitched into a smile.

John noticed Equius and Nepeta rejoin the group and frowned. Where had they been? When had they left? The little trolls weren't there anymore either. Maybe they'd gone to their school?

A sudden clawed hand on his arm made John jump. It was Kankri, with strained look on his face. "I understand that the growing number of us may be intimidating, but could you please lead us to the school office so that we may receive our school schedules. I promise that we will get out of your hair after this."

John shook his head slightly and forced a smile, though it was easier this time. "It's no trouble! Its just inside anyway."

Kankri smiled gratefully and turned to the chatting trolls. As he got their attention, John turned back to his group of friends.

"I'm sorry about this guys," he said, scratching the back of his head. "I didn't mean to abandon you or anything, but I did promise to show them around and a promise is a promise."

Rose smirked slightly. "I hope that you are not implying you would like us to leave you alone with this group of strangers? John, no offense but you are quite naive."

An arm slung around his shoulders and he found a straight-faced Dave at his side. "Yeah, Egderp. Ain't nothin good gonna come from you being left by yourself," he drawled, his Texan accent showing up.

John smiled as Jade agreed, though they were mostly ignored by their family members. "Okay, okay," he giggled. "Come on guys."

They turned to see Kankri finally wrangling in the groups attention with some help from Karkat.

And now they were all staring at him again. John felt like there was something blocking his throat. Oh yeah this was his best idea ever! Oh god, he was going to have to talk to this group. But they were nice...well most of them seemed to be. He gulped a little and cleared his throat. "U-um, I'm just going to show you where the office is...uh...i-it's this way," he pointed at the doors and after a moment realized that probably didn't help much. There were his fantastic social skills again. He sighed and walked inside, glad to have his friends near him.

After a seemingly longer than it should have taken to walk down the correct hallway John opened the wooden doors of the school office. The inside smelled like the tiny hard candies that sat in a bowl at the secretaries desk. John felt a real smile ease onto his face at the familiar scent. He had been in here quite a few times since the beginning of the year. Not for any trouble, but just to get away from the...less pleasant people he had to deal with. It helped since none of his friends had his lunch period. He grinned at Ms. Norde, the secretary, and bounced to the desk. "Good morning, Ms. Norde!"

She gave him a sweet smile, though her eyes widened as the rest of the group walked in. "H-hello, John. And I assume your friends are the...exchange students?"

John nodded. "Yeah. A couple of them live on my street so I was showing them the school and everyone else just kind of... joined in." He gave a small, nervous chuckle.

Her face softened into a comforting look. "Well I'm sure they'll be very grateful for your help, John."

He shrugged. "We can only hope."

She stood and walked around her desk, patting his shoulder. She was a short, pudgy woman in her 60's with graying red hair immaculately styled into a tight bun. She straightened her thick glasses and smiled at the group. "I'll take it from here, John. Have a good day."

With that she sent him out of the room and welcomed the others, her sweet disposition changing to something more authoritative. "Now I am here to help all of you with your schedules if you'll just follow me." She turned and walked further into the office.

John giggled a bit at the surprised looks all of the trolls gave her, but none of them protested. That was just the kind of person she was. It helped with bullies occasionally. With one last glance at the group, his eyes met Karkat's just before John left the office. He waved to the troll and received a dismissive hand wave that ended in a one finger salute, though he could swear Karkat had the smallest grin on his face. It was too quick to really tell, but it kept the goofiest of grins on John's face as he rejoined his friends.

**Thanks for reading!**

**Wow this turned out longer than I thought it would. Sorry its just filler but there'll be some real action soon enough.**

**Review please!**


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